no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
