you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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