But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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