Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
