i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
