Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
