I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's never too late to be topless.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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