My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
