Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
