This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
