splinters make it hard to masturbate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
