your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
