I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
