MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
