is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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