I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
