girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
