I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
