Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
