forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
