she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm always down for nudity.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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