please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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