We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
soo... how was my night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
