I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
