FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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