OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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