i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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