Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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