I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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