No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
