I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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