I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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