This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
