Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
