I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Panties = found
Randomize
