I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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