Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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