JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
