and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
