so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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