kristin has been a bad kristin
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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