My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
