My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Couch. On fire.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
