You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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