At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
