first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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