yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
