So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
