Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
