No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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