guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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